Despite a university degree and a successful career in business, Veronica (40) grappled with severe performance anxiety from an early age. At 38, she finally turned to mental health coach Mónika Bölcskei for help.
Veronica: Actually, I contacted Mónika because I had just been diagnosed with ADHD. I was hoping she could help me, being an ADHD coach.
Veronica: In school, I found it hard to focus and made so many mistakes that it made me feel nervous. Over time, nervousness changed to performance anxiety, particularly in high-pressure situations like meeting deadlines or giving presentations. At the height of my career, I was putting in countless extra hours to get every detail just right. A couple of years ago, it started to take a toll on my mental health. There were still so many things I wanted to achieve but performance anxiety was holding me back. I felt like a failure.
Mónika: Veronica’s case was complex, as it often is with individuals living with ADHD. ADHD not only affects your attention span but also makes it more challenging to control your emotions. We had to tackle not only the symptoms of ADHD but also the performance anxiety induced by it.
Mónika: Establishing trust and understanding was fundamental in Veronica’s case. I wanted to create a safe space for her to explore her struggles openly. Compassionate Inquiry® based coaching approach allowed us to address the deeper beliefs underlying Veronica’s anxiety.
Veronica: Interestingly, the session revealed that I subconsciously associated my supervisors at work with my father, who was very demanding of me even as a child. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and failing was never an option.
Mónika: Together, we worked to re-frame Veronica’s core beliefs about herself. She realized that the old ideas she adopted as a child no longer served her, and that she had the power to challenge and change them. That was a turning point in her journey towards overcoming performance anxiety. In a next step, I incorporated biofeedback sessions to help her with stress management.
Mónika: Biofeedback is a powerful tool for building self-awareness and developing self-regulation skills. By training the mind and body to work together harmoniously, individuals like Veronica can break free from the grip of performance anxiety and unlock their full potential.
Mónika: A biofeedback device uses electronic sensors to monitor physiological processes like heart rate, muscle tension, skin temperature, and brainwave activity. Clients learn to control their body’s responses to stressors by receiving real-time feedback during sessions. It enables them to adjust their thoughts and behaviors to reduce stress and achieve a steady state of relaxation.
Veronica: Biofeedback was an eye-opener for me. It showed me how my mind and body are connected, and that I have more control over my anxiety than I realized. Now, whenever I feel that wave of nervousness creeping in, I have techniques to calm myself down and stay focused.
Veronica: It’s been truly transformative. Performance anxiety used to overshadow every aspect of my life, but now I feel like I’m finally living on my own terms. I’m no longer paralyzed by fear when faced with challenges at work. Instead of dwelling on potential mistakes or setbacks, I approach tasks with confidence and resilience. I’ve even taken on leadership roles that I would have shied away from in the past. Amazingly, I feel more present and engaged in my relationships and hobbies as well.
Mónika: I’d like to add that Veronica’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience and self-discovery. By confronting her fears and challenging her limiting beliefs, she has unlocked a new chapter of growth and fulfillment. It’s been a privilege to witness her transformation and to know that performance anxiety is no longer holding her back.
Mónika Bölcskei, a mental health coach, brings over 15 years of international training expertise in both HR and sports to her practice.
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